I Just Listened

to Coldplay's "Death and All His Friends" approximately 15 times. I love that song. Everything about it. I can't control it, and I'm not sorry.

I read a blog post today that really changed my outlook on a lot of things. Read it here. I think it's so true--it's good to complain, to let it out... and though complaining is uncomfortable and makes me feels like I'm whining, it's good to do it. Just not all the time about everything. Comparison is such a waste of time, but still I find myself doing it... and it's really just not worth it.

From that same blog post, I found this site, and I absolutely love it. I love sites like these--quiet, thoughtful, great photography. Mostly, I felt a strange mixture of sadness and happiness... It reminded me of my grandpa. It's been 10 years, and I still miss him every day. There's hardly a day where I don't think of him... which is odd, considering I didn't know my grandpa that well before his stroke. I wish I had known him a bit better... I wish I had been just a little bit older. I wish I would have had a little more time with him, and a little less time arguing about who gets to control the remote... because isn't that just the silliest thing now? It wasn't then. I miss those days.

This Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for little things, and this is my list:

• My housband [we went to a musical last night. That's how good he is to me! He secretly might have enjoyed it...]
• My housband's patience and good listening ear
  
• Pushing Daisies, the tv show... I love it.
• My family [a given]
• Blankets
• Candles
• Toast with honey on it
• How hard I laugh almost every night before bed about everything
  
• Quirky shoes
• Photography
• Good writing
• People who have perspective and share it
• Songs like "Death and All His Friends"
• "My" dogs
• Parents
• Insurance
• Books that really get to me
• My apartment
• Christmas coming up
• Christmas decorations
• Christmas music
  
• My bike, oh I LOVE my bike
• The chairs in my apartment
• Life and its quiet surprises
  

I think I've been frustrated a lot lately because, frankly, my patience for life isn't great. I want to do everything, I want to see the world, I want to go to graduate school, I want to do it all right now. I know I can't right now, but it's still sometimes extremely frustrating. I get frustrated that I'm not always in charge of what's going on in my life and I can't control where I'll be next spring, summer, fall or winter.... But I forget that though life seems slow in the long run, it gets faster and faster each day, and I need to enjoy it right now, for what it is. Life is good. It's confusing and hard and bewildering, but it's good. And I'm grateful for it this Thanksgiving.

If I don't write again before, have a happy Thanksgiving and a good holiday weekend.

"So come over, just be patient, and don't worry...."