Wednesday, January 13, 2010

It's all silly, really.

Today, I've had a frustrating series of events that have made me just how small I really am.  (That's pretty darn small.)

Not that I was expecting to be big, really--I guess it's hard to explain.

Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing with my life.  If what I'm doing right now is really all that important, or if I should just take a break and reevaluate.  I know all these little days add together to become that big important someday for which I've been waiting and dreaming about, but what about today?  Why can't today be the day about which I dream?

I guess this is all to say that I'm life-confused.  Not about big things, per se.  It's the little things that get to me.

I'm just recognizing my frustrations as of late.  Life is good, I know that.  I really do.  But sometimes the down moments and down days collect like a rain puddle, and I suppose I've stepped in it tonight.  And my proverbial socks are wet.  I really hate wet socks.

I am just one little person getting through life.  It hit me so hard at one point today, and man, I feel so humbled.  I guess it's good to feel that way once in a while, but when it comes to something that's my heart, I could really use some confidence.

I've just had a few months that I've thought (a lot):  I SUCK!  But I'm doing my best.

This is all to say:  I'm fine.  I'm struggling with my little place in the world.  It might just be the winter weather.  But I am a little worn out.

4 comments:

Tannie Datwyler said...

Oh Ashley - I'm sorry! I hate days (weeks... months) like this. Maybe you need to come play games at my house again. :) Not that it solves your problems, but it is fun.

kitchendoor said...

I would like to to take you out for a milkshake. And that is the truth.

Adrienne Hansen said...

you don't suck.

Adrienne Hansen said...

THAT WAS AMY. ADRIENNE HOW COME YOU ARE stILL LOGGED ON HERE???? dude.