Did I mention that having this headache makes me super ornery?
Just so you know, there are only around 3 blogs which annoy me, and none of them are people I know in real life, and all of them live in Utah... And are "photographers."
Also, I do like a lot of photographers in Utah. I just hate the Utah photography market and how trendy it is to pick up a camera and start a business because it makes it that much harder for those of us who actually really love it to do anything with it, because they do it cheaper and they do it trendy-er, which is what everyone wants, I guess.
I guess what I'm trying to say is: I'm frustrated by a lot of things lately, but number one is mostly photography.
I'm trying to figure myself out. I used to dream of attending graduate school, but I'm not sure I want to do that anymore. It's kind of scary living with no ultimate dream beyond having a family someday and having no immediate plan for what to do with myself... I kind of always thought my life was leading me to photography, but I'm not so sure of that anymore.
Mostly, I've been thinking about it a lot, and I'm not that sure I want to be part of the photography industry. To tell you the truth, I don't really like it. It feels as though everyone hints that in order to be good or respected, you should shoot weddings. I hate weddings. Or, you should shoot and do a ton of actions and effects afterward to make life look positively ideal and flawless. I want to photograph kids, babies, pets, and fun fine art portraits. I want to photograph real life as it is. I guess along the way, I've forgotten that. Wedding photography does not inspire me. Elliott Erwitt inspires me. Photographers who photograph for photography and not money's sake inspire me.
I'm not very sorry for so many rants tonight, but I've felt a lot of anger lately and I think it helps me to get it out somehow.
Maybe soon my headache will go away.