I think life moves too quickly. Actually, most times. Though I go through periods I don't whole-heartedly love, I often look back and think, that went by far too quickly.
I just heard the beginning strains of a song full of banjo and voices in my head, a song I listened to a lot last summer when I biked most places on my cruiser and spent my time mostly at home with my dogs, missing my husband but enjoying a good bit of solitude. I thought to myself, wow, that went by too quickly. I remember distinctly the first time he left and drove to Nevada by himself, the first time of many, and I thought, what do I do now? If I told you someone else besides my husband was my very best friend, I'd be lying. I truly had no idea what to expect when we realized he'd have to go without me and commute home every weekend. I had to figure out how to otherwise fill my time because when he's with me, I just want to spend it with him, a non-problem I've had ever since we were first together. Though I've always enjoyed my time with myself, he's the one exception to that rule: I never tire of him.
So every weekend he came home, we'd go on bike rides and go swimming and watch one-hour episodes of Alfred Hitchcock stories and spend time with our dogs and it was just the best until Sunday afternoon came and it would physically hurt when he'd have to leave again.
I just remembered it all so fondly--all of it in a few notes of a banjo playing through my head--though I know I probably wouldn't choose to do it again, given the choice. But then it hit me how quickly I moved on from the summer, how he came home and we found out we'd be having a baby (and then soon realized it would be two babies) and how life is moving at this incredible pace.
Sometimes the kids at preschool cry or mope because of something we have to do, like clean up toys or take a nap or do a math assignment. I remember feeling that way as a kid, the absolute dread of this is going to be the death of me, and feeling it would take the rest of my day. As an adult, I've learned to embrace situations I don't love because I've learned so many times that this, too, will be gone so quickly. Days are flying by. Summer is over, my husband is home, and this summer, I'll have two new little people in my world. It's sort of mind-boggling, isn't it? Life moves on, every day isn't the same, bad things happen and we move on, good things happen and we move on to different things, completely different phases and people and life situations.
This summer, I'm going to have a baby for each arm. I'm going to Summerfest and Nevada and the classic car cruise-in. I'm going to go swimming (a little, hopefully). I'm going to ride my bike (a little, hopefully). My life is going to be completely different. I'm ready for it. But I'm enjoying right now, too, this last little while of us and our dogs before the babies come and everything changes.
Just so you know, this is a good song to listen to if you're cruising around on your bike.
And in our native language we are chanting ancient songs
And when we quiet down the house chants on without us.................