Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Full circle

I've been thinking about a lot of things lately. I was watching Amelie at my parents' house the other day, and this quote, as always, really stuck out to me.

"Life's funny. To a kid, time always drags. Suddenly you're fifty. All that's left of your childhood... fits in a rusty little box."

The other day, I was searching for my tools to attend my ceramics class (more on that later), and searching through my things, I found a box that I'm guessing was supposed to be a time capsule for myself, wrapped in silver paper. The things I wrote were funny--I described each member of my family, and I was surprised at how flat their descriptions were on paper. I guess it wasn't surprising that my descriptions didn't really justify how each of them really are; they're special in their own ways, with their quirks and private stories, the things that make our relationships in relation to one another different than it is to another person. Coming across old things is hard for me, mostly because I have a hard time getting rid of old things. I have a difficult time deciding what's important, what my kids will be delighted to see, and that which is simply, unfortunately, junk.

ANYway, I quickly put the box back in my special box, and I've been thinking about it ever since. I need to go look at it again. It's sort of funny how there are pockets to life, things we store away and forget about, when at the time, it was such a HUGE thing. For example, my mom used to work at the hospital. I volunteered at the gift shop and sometimes just visited her there, and there was a specific bathroom I'd always use. For some reason, this bathroom was really ominous to me, and after watching one of the Scream movies, I was always a little afraid there'd be a serial killer in the next stall. This was a habit that really only showed itself in this particular restroom, and I almost always peeked at the floor under the door to be sure there weren't feet there, or catalog the fact that someone else was in there, just to be sure.

To tell you the truth, I don't think about middle school that often. But, you know what? When I was there, that's all I thought about. It's interesting how diverse life is and how quickly it goes by, though like the quote above, time used to drag. I don't think about a lot of things that were so important to me at one time. I don't see members of my family, my friends, or my life the same way I used to, and in some ways it's good, but most of all, it's nice to be able to remember what I thought then. I'm sure this time in my life will file away in one of my pocket memories soon enough.

And you know what? I don't want to forget my life. That's probably why I write and photograph lots of things. Because my memory isn't as good as it once was. Even if you don't care about my life, I do. So there it is. I want to remember all this goodness. It seems like I've been thinking about not wasting my time while I'm young a lot lately. I still need to work on that.

I'm sorry this is all so random. I hope you get what I mean anyway.

I want to share some more of my grandpa's photos with you. I love them all so much.

Also: I've been building my portfolio for my website. I am so excited about it, and I've felt so much joy photographing lately that I feel as though my heart's going to burst out of my chest. I love it. I really love it. I'll have to show you some of the photos--but not today.

Last thing: the photos I selected were Earl Green, and Pool 1. Wish me luck!

1 comment:

Micaela said...

I LOOOOOOOOOVE that last one of your grandpas. They're all beautiful, but i get this feeling when i see that last one. It's sooo pretty! i could see that hanging in my casa.

i FEEL your excitement about life and it's contagious.

cheers to living life to the moment and ALL THE BEST OF LUCK with the photo contest! keep us updated, friend :)