Imagine this: it's a nice summer day, June 17, 2009, to be exact. A fantastic day to have a birthday (if you ask me).
My husband calls early in the day, excited.
The conversation:
Housband: There's Aquafresh for sale here at the store for an awesome deal. We can get 9 tubes for $xx!!
Me: Ok....
H: I think I'm going to buy them!!
Me: Ok...
Later that day... (or maybe later that week... or something.)
H: I don't like Aquafresh. I think I'm going to buy another kind of toothpaste.
Me: Ok...
H: But you can still use the Aquafresh if you want.
Me: Yeah, I think I'll use it. We have 9 tubes of it now, so....
H: Yeah, I'm a Crest man. I try to change, but I just can't.
Fast forward three years, four months, and seventeen days: I'm finally out of Aquafresh.
So, naturally, I bought another tube. It sucks. Tastes horrible.
I kinda miss my original 9 tubes of toothpaste.
(Granted, I bought a different kind of Aquafresh toothpaste. THAT will teach me to venture out again.)
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Friday, December 9, 2011
This is real. This is really real.
The other night, I was having trouble sleeping because I couldn't get too comfortable. (I'm thinking this will soon be a much bigger/an actual problem for me.) Anyway, when I thought about it in the morning, the reason I was so uncomfortable was because of my huge (?) belly.
Let me tell you something. It's not that big. Yet.
I think my mind is getting a little carried away already.
Then again, I have this picture in my mind of my stomach becoming so large that it'll look like there's a couple of full-blown toddlers in there, standing head to toe, perpendicular to my body. (Kind of like this illustration I just drew for you. Though in my mind, they are much bigger than this. There's only so much I can do with my computer, ok? Also, I guess hands are overrated.)
So. I guess I'm not one for reasonable expectations.
Also, I googled images of huge pregnant women. And one of the photos had a caption of "why pregnant women don't fall over." !!
Let me tell you something. It's not that big. Yet.
I think my mind is getting a little carried away already.
Then again, I have this picture in my mind of my stomach becoming so large that it'll look like there's a couple of full-blown toddlers in there, standing head to toe, perpendicular to my body. (Kind of like this illustration I just drew for you. Though in my mind, they are much bigger than this. There's only so much I can do with my computer, ok? Also, I guess hands are overrated.)
So. I guess I'm not one for reasonable expectations.
Also, I googled images of huge pregnant women. And one of the photos had a caption of "why pregnant women don't fall over." !!
Thursday, December 8, 2011
A conversation at home.
Me: Did you look at my Christmas wishlist?
Anonymous: Yeah, like 22 times.
...
Anonymous: I was not impressed.
Anonymous: Yeah, like 22 times.
...
Anonymous: I was not impressed.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
A very strange week.
This last week, several not good things happened, and one great thing happened.
1st not good thing = my 10-year-old nephew was diagnosed with diabetes, which was quite a shock. I feel so bad for him... he's just a little guy. But my sister and brother-in-law are good parents, and I feel as though he's in good hands. Plus, he's a fighter about everything, so he will be just fine.
THEN, 2nd not good thing = I spilled maple syrup on my macbook trackpad. Which would not be a big deal, except that it got down in the button clicker and has made it near impossible to be un-sticky. Although I tried a few things, like taking out the battery and sliding paper up there, syrup is one sticky SOB, in case you were wondering. I think it's getting better though. And it happened on the same night I was so upset about my nephew, so BONUS!
My sister and I had a good laugh about my mini-chalkboards. She came over the other night to watch a movie at my place and commented on the bottom chalkboard, which says "2011 the year of the BEAST."
The sad and funny part is that though I wrote this in the beginning of the year, I kept it there. I wrote it mostly to be funny. And every time someone comments on it, something bad happens. Have I said this has been one of the most difficult years of my life? Well, it has, for various reasons. And yet, I'm still kickin'. Perhaps 2012 will be the year of the beats. Beats as in great music. I do NOT know yet.
Last night, we were at the demolition derby. Some guy sitting next to us was there with his friends, totally connected with his Ipad-like thing (wasn't actually an iPad), his cell phone, and chatting on facebook or taking pictures or video and then going back to chatting with his girlfriend about how this was his last chance. (DRAaaaaammmmmaaaaaa! Sorry, dude, but that's what you get when you type on your thing in front of a bunch of people.) And I thought to myself: I don't think I have ever felt that way in my life. That this was my last chance. Sure, I get discouraged, I have my days (often enough), but I find myself saying over and over again that things will work out. I had a really hard thing happen a couple weeks ago where I was virtually offered a job after meeting with these people twice, before they were done interviewing, but they then changed their minds on me. I was totally and completely heartbroken, and I completely fell apart. But the next day? I was busy. Moving on. I'm still thinking about it, but I realize there has to be something better out there for me. I'm finding that positivity is so much easier for me in the long run. Plus, I've heard it helps you live longer. PLUS, nobody wants to be around people who are always pessimistic, am I right?
The great thing that happened to me this week is that my husband moved home. Surprise! I didn't tell you we were living apart this summer. He had an internship in Elko for the summer at a gold mine, and we couldn't find housing that would work for us before he left, so he was assigned a roommate who was also an intern at the mine. He's home now, and I am so SO glad. (I didn't write about it because I didn't want to be murdered in my sleep. My dogs are less brave than I. We are a ridiculous bunch.)
I want to write more about the whole living-apart thing later, but for now, this will do. Have a happy Sunday.
1st not good thing = my 10-year-old nephew was diagnosed with diabetes, which was quite a shock. I feel so bad for him... he's just a little guy. But my sister and brother-in-law are good parents, and I feel as though he's in good hands. Plus, he's a fighter about everything, so he will be just fine.
THEN, 2nd not good thing = I spilled maple syrup on my macbook trackpad. Which would not be a big deal, except that it got down in the button clicker and has made it near impossible to be un-sticky. Although I tried a few things, like taking out the battery and sliding paper up there, syrup is one sticky SOB, in case you were wondering. I think it's getting better though. And it happened on the same night I was so upset about my nephew, so BONUS!
My sister and I had a good laugh about my mini-chalkboards. She came over the other night to watch a movie at my place and commented on the bottom chalkboard, which says "2011 the year of the BEAST."
The sad and funny part is that though I wrote this in the beginning of the year, I kept it there. I wrote it mostly to be funny. And every time someone comments on it, something bad happens. Have I said this has been one of the most difficult years of my life? Well, it has, for various reasons. And yet, I'm still kickin'. Perhaps 2012 will be the year of the beats. Beats as in great music. I do NOT know yet.
Last night, we were at the demolition derby. Some guy sitting next to us was there with his friends, totally connected with his Ipad-like thing (wasn't actually an iPad), his cell phone, and chatting on facebook or taking pictures or video and then going back to chatting with his girlfriend about how this was his last chance. (DRAaaaaammmmmaaaaaa! Sorry, dude, but that's what you get when you type on your thing in front of a bunch of people.) And I thought to myself: I don't think I have ever felt that way in my life. That this was my last chance. Sure, I get discouraged, I have my days (often enough), but I find myself saying over and over again that things will work out. I had a really hard thing happen a couple weeks ago where I was virtually offered a job after meeting with these people twice, before they were done interviewing, but they then changed their minds on me. I was totally and completely heartbroken, and I completely fell apart. But the next day? I was busy. Moving on. I'm still thinking about it, but I realize there has to be something better out there for me. I'm finding that positivity is so much easier for me in the long run. Plus, I've heard it helps you live longer. PLUS, nobody wants to be around people who are always pessimistic, am I right?
The great thing that happened to me this week is that my husband moved home. Surprise! I didn't tell you we were living apart this summer. He had an internship in Elko for the summer at a gold mine, and we couldn't find housing that would work for us before he left, so he was assigned a roommate who was also an intern at the mine. He's home now, and I am so SO glad. (I didn't write about it because I didn't want to be murdered in my sleep. My dogs are less brave than I. We are a ridiculous bunch.)
I want to write more about the whole living-apart thing later, but for now, this will do. Have a happy Sunday.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Popular
I wasn't joking. I'm telling you: I've never been this popular in my life.
Ok, that's a lie. I was once. In heaven. (Wasn't everyone though?)
(Truth be told, I guess you become popular once somebody in power says you're cool? But if they only really knew me..... just saying.)
Ok, that's a lie. I was once. In heaven. (Wasn't everyone though?)
(Truth be told, I guess you become popular once somebody in power says you're cool? But if they only really knew me..... just saying.)
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Miss Peggy lives for a day
So, we borrowed Paige for a day. And here it is, complete with photos!!
After mom left, we rode some rides at the outlets in Park City. But tried to not look TOO happy about it, because that would be uncool for a 3-year-old.
Then we try entertaining ourselves, because soccer games get boring pretty fast. Also, showing off our bum is probably the best choice, given the situation.
Then we practiced our model shots. And climbed the fence, because that's what the big kids were doing.
After the game, we went to a restaurant. And looked really sleepy after coloring. WE WANT MAC AND CHEESE, people. This is serious.
Then we had our respective dinners. We decide we don't like the toast. It cannot be touching any of our other foods. HEAVEN HELP US!!! (PS, one of my favorite things she says after she can't quite do something herself is, "I cannot do it. I CANNOT." Instead of can't. She is fantastic)
And then, we fell asleep. In the booth. At a restaurant. After staring at the family just on the other side of the booth with a lot of kids. Probably because they are more fun than our aunt and uncle.
We woke up in the car ride after we stop to get aloe vera because, sunburn. We saw a rainbow. A double rainbow, even! But you can't see it here. Yet, I promise it was a double rainbow. You can see part of it in this photo. And then we fell asleep in the car.
Not pictured: we wanted a tubby, so we decided on bath time, then we don't want a tubby, settle on tubby with no hair washing, then, unfortunately, soap in the eyes, and screaming. Then, movie time on the giant bed. And perhaps that cylinder pillow would keep our tootsies warm.
Then, we contemplated making some calls to our peeps. With Bert on the bed. (Don't worry, it was a pet-friendly hotel.)
So we called some peeps on our "cell phone." Which, just last year, we used to call our "hallo."
FYI: Nobody answered.
Then, we kept peeking under the curtains, because through our window, we could see uncle Pedro (again, not his real name) in the hot tub--soaking because he'd played two soccer games in one day. Also, we decide we're hungry because we fell asleep at dinner and didn't finish our MAC AND CHEESE!!. So we ate some chocolate, and had an awesome chocolate moustache situation.
Last, we stayed awake until the lights turn off, at which point, we almost immediately fell asleep. And take over the (king-sized) bed. (!) And then, when our aunt moved us in the middle of the night, we accidentally head-butted her, and say SORRY so sweetly in our sleep.
But anyways, what a great day.
After mom left, we rode some rides at the outlets in Park City. But tried to not look TOO happy about it, because that would be uncool for a 3-year-old.
Then we try entertaining ourselves, because soccer games get boring pretty fast. Also, showing off our bum is probably the best choice, given the situation.
Then we practiced our model shots. And climbed the fence, because that's what the big kids were doing.
After the game, we went to a restaurant. And looked really sleepy after coloring. WE WANT MAC AND CHEESE, people. This is serious.
Then we had our respective dinners. We decide we don't like the toast. It cannot be touching any of our other foods. HEAVEN HELP US!!! (PS, one of my favorite things she says after she can't quite do something herself is, "I cannot do it. I CANNOT." Instead of can't. She is fantastic)
And then, we fell asleep. In the booth. At a restaurant. After staring at the family just on the other side of the booth with a lot of kids. Probably because they are more fun than our aunt and uncle.
We woke up in the car ride after we stop to get aloe vera because, sunburn. We saw a rainbow. A double rainbow, even! But you can't see it here. Yet, I promise it was a double rainbow. You can see part of it in this photo. And then we fell asleep in the car.
Not pictured: we wanted a tubby, so we decided on bath time, then we don't want a tubby, settle on tubby with no hair washing, then, unfortunately, soap in the eyes, and screaming. Then, movie time on the giant bed. And perhaps that cylinder pillow would keep our tootsies warm.
Then, we contemplated making some calls to our peeps. With Bert on the bed. (Don't worry, it was a pet-friendly hotel.)
So we called some peeps on our "cell phone." Which, just last year, we used to call our "hallo."
FYI: Nobody answered.
Then, we kept peeking under the curtains, because through our window, we could see uncle Pedro (again, not his real name) in the hot tub--soaking because he'd played two soccer games in one day. Also, we decide we're hungry because we fell asleep at dinner and didn't finish our MAC AND CHEESE!!. So we ate some chocolate, and had an awesome chocolate moustache situation.
Last, we stayed awake until the lights turn off, at which point, we almost immediately fell asleep. And take over the (king-sized) bed. (!) And then, when our aunt moved us in the middle of the night, we accidentally head-butted her, and say SORRY so sweetly in our sleep.
But anyways, what a great day.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
I took the dogs on another walk!
And we were by the river, which is overflowing so violently it's kind of creeping me out.
We reached the end, where there was some stagnant water, and I HAVE NEVER SEEN SO MANY MOSQUITOES IN MY LIFE.
I very nearly had a meltdown, because, holy crap. And just today the receptionist at the vet's office was telling me what in the heck happens when your dog gets heart worm from mosquitoes. They're not protected! I thought. SO I rode away for my life (and theirs). I don't want them to have all these shots and no exercise for like 6 weeks and blahdy blahdy blah. Cause that's what happens when mosquitoes plant their wormy larvae into your dog's heart.
So. Anyway. Then we went to the dog park but we were all bored, so we left.
And now I'm watching Friends, just like I do every day after work.
BONUS: today was really hot, and I rode my bike 4.5 miles to work. In khaki shorts. Do you know what happens when you wear khaki shorts and you sweat? Swum. If you don't know what that means, I don't think I can help you right now.
(Hint: it rhymes with "fretty plum.")
It was embarrassing. It's still embarrassing.
We reached the end, where there was some stagnant water, and I HAVE NEVER SEEN SO MANY MOSQUITOES IN MY LIFE.
I very nearly had a meltdown, because, holy crap. And just today the receptionist at the vet's office was telling me what in the heck happens when your dog gets heart worm from mosquitoes. They're not protected! I thought. SO I rode away for my life (and theirs). I don't want them to have all these shots and no exercise for like 6 weeks and blahdy blahdy blah. Cause that's what happens when mosquitoes plant their wormy larvae into your dog's heart.
So. Anyway. Then we went to the dog park but we were all bored, so we left.
And now I'm watching Friends, just like I do every day after work.
BONUS: today was really hot, and I rode my bike 4.5 miles to work. In khaki shorts. Do you know what happens when you wear khaki shorts and you sweat? Swum. If you don't know what that means, I don't think I can help you right now.
(Hint: it rhymes with "fretty plum.")
It was embarrassing. It's still embarrassing.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Tonight,
I took my dogs for a bike ride. Dogs. Plural. Previous to this weekend, I'd never done that before--taken both. And it was interesting, yet not horrible.
On bike rides, they both run alongside my bike. I usually have one on each side, so I pretty much block the entire road. Except I try to be conscientious... I swear I'm not self-absorbed enough to think everyone should yield to me. Then I figured out how to get them to be good with both on one side, so that was great.
Anyway, as I was watching Bert bop around, getting kind of slow yet still SO MIRACULOUSLY bouncy, I thought: if he were a girl dog, I'd have named him Stephanie. He just SEEMS like a Stephanie. (And the fact that the thought just popped into my head was really funny at the moment. It felt so natural! But funny all the same!)
I also took them both to the fairgrounds and tossed around a tennis ball while they chased each other. I had this completely surreal moment of absolute joy: that was exactly where I'd want to be, given the choice of anywhere in the world, in that moment. Spending time with my dogs, chucking a ball, the golden sun shining heavy shadows on the lawn the trees. It was perfect. But then I felt sorry, because I also thought of all the other things I could/should be doing, and realized how much I need to calm down and let myself be in the present. It's a work in progress, that's for sure.
About a block before home, we passed the dog park, and Bert stops to a near-crawl every time. So I picked him up, and he yelped like I was stabbing him to death--he had shots yesterday, and I must have hurt him in the spot where they poked him. So I put him down and we kept going. But THEN he was really just too slow, so I picked him up (carefully), put him in my basket, strapped him down (oh yeah, did I ever tell you about the time he was strapped down in a complicated leash hold in the basket and he STILL JUMPED OUT? WHILE I WAS MOVING? AND HE DANGLED FROM THE SIDE OF MY BASKET?), so I strapped him down REAL good and finished the ride with Bagsy sprinting beside me.
All this after a guy who saw me with them said, "Looks like you're having fun." And then as I was turning the corner, "That's the funniest thing I've EVER seen." And he laughed and laughed and laughed.
So, I guess it's kinda funny that I take them both on rides. But until I find a better way to wear them both out real good, this is my method.
On bike rides, they both run alongside my bike. I usually have one on each side, so I pretty much block the entire road. Except I try to be conscientious... I swear I'm not self-absorbed enough to think everyone should yield to me. Then I figured out how to get them to be good with both on one side, so that was great.
Anyway, as I was watching Bert bop around, getting kind of slow yet still SO MIRACULOUSLY bouncy, I thought: if he were a girl dog, I'd have named him Stephanie. He just SEEMS like a Stephanie. (And the fact that the thought just popped into my head was really funny at the moment. It felt so natural! But funny all the same!)
I also took them both to the fairgrounds and tossed around a tennis ball while they chased each other. I had this completely surreal moment of absolute joy: that was exactly where I'd want to be, given the choice of anywhere in the world, in that moment. Spending time with my dogs, chucking a ball, the golden sun shining heavy shadows on the lawn the trees. It was perfect. But then I felt sorry, because I also thought of all the other things I could/should be doing, and realized how much I need to calm down and let myself be in the present. It's a work in progress, that's for sure.
About a block before home, we passed the dog park, and Bert stops to a near-crawl every time. So I picked him up, and he yelped like I was stabbing him to death--he had shots yesterday, and I must have hurt him in the spot where they poked him. So I put him down and we kept going. But THEN he was really just too slow, so I picked him up (carefully), put him in my basket, strapped him down (oh yeah, did I ever tell you about the time he was strapped down in a complicated leash hold in the basket and he STILL JUMPED OUT? WHILE I WAS MOVING? AND HE DANGLED FROM THE SIDE OF MY BASKET?), so I strapped him down REAL good and finished the ride with Bagsy sprinting beside me.
All this after a guy who saw me with them said, "Looks like you're having fun." And then as I was turning the corner, "That's the funniest thing I've EVER seen." And he laughed and laughed and laughed.
So, I guess it's kinda funny that I take them both on rides. But until I find a better way to wear them both out real good, this is my method.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Happy Christmas Adam
This is the message I just received from my housband.
No idea what he was talking about--I thought maybe he meant to send the message to my brother, who is named, coincidentally, Adam.
I texted him back, confused, and this was his response:
"Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, so today is Christmas Adam."
And then I remembered he says this every year.
There are lots of reasons I love that dude; this is just one of 1,678,956,443 reasons why.
And for your viewing pleasure, the sign I made which was inspired by this:
And lastly, here's a photo which will either make your day cheery, or really creep you out:
Bagel (pronounced bag-ul) is really quite happy about Christmas Adam. Also, don't mind the mismatched sheets and blankets. This photo was taken a while ago, and I have my life more together now than I did then.... kinda. (Wishful thinking.) (Though my sheets do match right now. BONUS!)
No idea what he was talking about--I thought maybe he meant to send the message to my brother, who is named, coincidentally, Adam.
I texted him back, confused, and this was his response:
"Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, so today is Christmas Adam."
And then I remembered he says this every year.
There are lots of reasons I love that dude; this is just one of 1,678,956,443 reasons why.
And for your viewing pleasure, the sign I made which was inspired by this:
 |
| Hers |
 |
| Mine, which took a lot longer than I thought it would, and also, I didn't have enough paper to do it awesome like hers. Plus, I was tired. Sorry about the crappy iphone photo. It's a lovely red, though. |
And lastly, here's a photo which will either make your day cheery, or really creep you out:
Bagel (pronounced bag-ul) is really quite happy about Christmas Adam. Also, don't mind the mismatched sheets and blankets. This photo was taken a while ago, and I have my life more together now than I did then.... kinda. (Wishful thinking.) (Though my sheets do match right now. BONUS!)
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Spam
I really enjoy checking my email spam. Most the time, it's junk that I'm glad my inbox filtered out. However, sometimes--like today--I get ones that I'm pretty sure I'll keep forever, mostly because they're quite funny.
For example, today I received an email from my email address (totally forged; in fact, gmail felt it necessary to inform me that the message could very well be not from myself.... good to know, gmail).
The subject? Mr. ashley.gammill, exclusive deal for you.
I was so thrilled to be called mister that I promptly moved it from my spam folder to my inbox and starred the message. I giggled, too... because Mr.? Really? Plus, I have a problem which includes thinking that calling people the wrong gender (when it's clear they're not the one you're calling them) is really funny. Such as: my brother calls me brother. Or when my other brother points to me and says something about "that guy." Also, if you haven't guessed already, I tend to laugh at things that aren't that funny to other people, but I find them hilarious.
Also worth mentioning: my emails from Nutritionist D. Downpour, Femininity E. Carom, Pandemonium J. Rent, Repairs T. Discouraging, Retouching D. Marmot, Temptations D. Swop, and Ballpark E. Delete. Yep, actual "names" of spammers... and I have them all saved in a very special folder.
So yes, whoever-"forged"-my-email-to-write-me-an-email, I will take your exclusive deal. No, I do not care that it's for viagra or some other type of medication I have no need for whatsoever.
Signed,
Mr. ashley.gammill.
For example, today I received an email from my email address (totally forged; in fact, gmail felt it necessary to inform me that the message could very well be not from myself.... good to know, gmail).
The subject? Mr. ashley.gammill, exclusive deal for you.
I was so thrilled to be called mister that I promptly moved it from my spam folder to my inbox and starred the message. I giggled, too... because Mr.? Really? Plus, I have a problem which includes thinking that calling people the wrong gender (when it's clear they're not the one you're calling them) is really funny. Such as: my brother calls me brother. Or when my other brother points to me and says something about "that guy." Also, if you haven't guessed already, I tend to laugh at things that aren't that funny to other people, but I find them hilarious.
Also worth mentioning: my emails from Nutritionist D. Downpour, Femininity E. Carom, Pandemonium J. Rent, Repairs T. Discouraging, Retouching D. Marmot, Temptations D. Swop, and Ballpark E. Delete. Yep, actual "names" of spammers... and I have them all saved in a very special folder.
So yes, whoever-"forged"-my-email-to-write-me-an-email, I will take your exclusive deal. No, I do not care that it's for viagra or some other type of medication I have no need for whatsoever.
Signed,
Mr. ashley.gammill.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Hey, Alanis.
I've been thinking about Alanis Morrisette lately. And several of her songs. And the music videos. Not really sure why, but I find myself thinking about her while I dry my hair, while I drive my car, etc. Also, it reminds me of the time I was staying late at the darkroom for one of my photo classes, and there were two other girls there with me. One turned on Alanis tunes, and suddenly, without really acknowledging it, both girls were trying to out-sing each other.
And I was stuck in the middle of it.
Sometimes growing up is so weird.
And then I had to visit the restroom down the hall, and in the late late LATE night hours, one of the girls followed me in there and waited for me to come out so she could ask what I thought about the shadows and highlights in the photo she was printing...in the restroom.
Come to think of it, I have a lot of kind-of-funny stories from my time in the photo world. I'll have to revisit this topic.
I feel sort of grumpy lately, but I have a hunch that it's because it became cold very suddenly, and yet I still get really very hot every night.
I've also been inexplicably tired for the last few months, so that could be it. I visited my doc yesterday and demanded ANSWERS, so we'll see what comes of that.
Life is good right now--I like it how it is, but I'm also excited to see where we'll be and what we'll do next.
I would send you a bouquet of newly-sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address.
And I was stuck in the middle of it.
Sometimes growing up is so weird.
And then I had to visit the restroom down the hall, and in the late late LATE night hours, one of the girls followed me in there and waited for me to come out so she could ask what I thought about the shadows and highlights in the photo she was printing...in the restroom.
Come to think of it, I have a lot of kind-of-funny stories from my time in the photo world. I'll have to revisit this topic.
I feel sort of grumpy lately, but I have a hunch that it's because it became cold very suddenly, and yet I still get really very hot every night.
I've also been inexplicably tired for the last few months, so that could be it. I visited my doc yesterday and demanded ANSWERS, so we'll see what comes of that.
Life is good right now--I like it how it is, but I'm also excited to see where we'll be and what we'll do next.
I would send you a bouquet of newly-sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
It's a little sad
when you find out your apple juice is more diverse than you.
"Contains concentrate from USA, Poland, and China."
Oh well. At least diverse nations can come together for the sake of some juice.
Lastly, I turned 24 last week. Hello, 24. Please be good to me.
"Contains concentrate from USA, Poland, and China."
Oh well. At least diverse nations can come together for the sake of some juice.
Lastly, I turned 24 last week. Hello, 24. Please be good to me.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Whatchoo talkin bout, Willis?
So. I subscribed to a feed which shows me what people are googling. It's interesting, really. I think I was expecting more porn, but I'm pleased to say there's actually not any of that (besides Kendra Wilkinson's recent situation). But we won't go into that; I have no interest in porn, but if you do, perhaps you ought to check that out instead of my little ol' blog.
ANYway, what I came here to talk about is tonight's most googled phrase: Tom Cruise is dead. At first, I was slightly concerned about the crazy couch-jumper, but I've done a bit of research and found that it's not truth, and he will live to parent Suri another day.
Also interesting: Gary Coleman was on the list because he was hospitalized today. Come to find out, his wife has the exact name of my mother-in-law, but spelled very differently. Get well soon, Gary.
I've been working on something really hard the last little while, which is why I've been absent. But don't you worry: I'm still here, I still have a husband and a dog, and I'm still riding my bike around. It's a good life.
Coming up next: a blog post revealing why I am, in reality, an old lady. Also, a post about my favorite artists of late. Stay tuned.
Toodle-loo.
ANYway, what I came here to talk about is tonight's most googled phrase: Tom Cruise is dead. At first, I was slightly concerned about the crazy couch-jumper, but I've done a bit of research and found that it's not truth, and he will live to parent Suri another day.
Also interesting: Gary Coleman was on the list because he was hospitalized today. Come to find out, his wife has the exact name of my mother-in-law, but spelled very differently. Get well soon, Gary.
I've been working on something really hard the last little while, which is why I've been absent. But don't you worry: I'm still here, I still have a husband and a dog, and I'm still riding my bike around. It's a good life.
Coming up next: a blog post revealing why I am, in reality, an old lady. Also, a post about my favorite artists of late. Stay tuned.
Toodle-loo.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Ok, so
I have a story.
As a preface, I will tell you that I am not a very careful person. I'm clumsy and I tend to break things, and usually it's big and/or expensive things that end up broken. I don't do it on purpose, but I'd have to say it's my biggest problem in life.
A little under a year ago, say, Christmas time, I asked my housband to hang some Christmas lights outside. Which he did. They were nice for a day or so, and then the next day, I got home from work. It was dark outside, and our porch light was off. So, I tried plugging in the lights, and because it was dark, I couldn't see, and therefore I jammed the prongs into the outlet. For some reason, they didn't fit. Then. THEN. One of the prongs went in the wrong slot.
There was a magnificent moment of luminary excellence from the string of lights, and then: nothing. I couldn't tell if it was the lights or the outlet, so I tested it. Sure enough, the outlet didn't work. So we tried resetting it, testing it, resetting it, testing it, and then resetting all the breakers. Nothing. We called the landlord, and they said they'd come check it out.
The next morning, I realized that the bathroom outlet didn't work either. I did my hair in the hall (which was interesting), and hoped they would come take a look soon.
Month after month passed, and nothing happened. I got used to doing my hair in the hall, and I resigned myself to the fact that we'll never be able to have cheery Christmas lighting.
Yesterday evening, I was sitting on the couch, working on photos and watching So You Think You Can Dance. The doorbell rang. Crap, I thought. Our house was a mess. It was the fix-it guy for our apartments, coming to check the furnace filter and smoke alarm. He is one of the nicest guys I've ever met. I let him in, wincing at the mess, and then I remembered: our outlets. I told him the situation, and he opened the breaker box. "Just push the test button, then move the breaker completely one way, then back again."
He told me to test the hairdryer to see if it worked. Part of me didn't think it would, but I plugged my hairdryer in the long-out-of-use outlet, turned it on, and VOILA! It worked. I felt kind of silly. Nearly a year of doing my hair in the hall, and that's all I had to do?
I did my hair in the bathroom this morning. I realized as soon as I turned on my hairdryer that I began to wander into the hall, and, a thought occured to me: I don't have to do that anymore. It's a Halloween miracle! I've forgotten what it's like to be able to fix my hair in my bathroom and not the hall!
Now if only there were an easy fix for all four windows I've broken since we've moved in.... hmmm...
As a preface, I will tell you that I am not a very careful person. I'm clumsy and I tend to break things, and usually it's big and/or expensive things that end up broken. I don't do it on purpose, but I'd have to say it's my biggest problem in life.
A little under a year ago, say, Christmas time, I asked my housband to hang some Christmas lights outside. Which he did. They were nice for a day or so, and then the next day, I got home from work. It was dark outside, and our porch light was off. So, I tried plugging in the lights, and because it was dark, I couldn't see, and therefore I jammed the prongs into the outlet. For some reason, they didn't fit. Then. THEN. One of the prongs went in the wrong slot.
There was a magnificent moment of luminary excellence from the string of lights, and then: nothing. I couldn't tell if it was the lights or the outlet, so I tested it. Sure enough, the outlet didn't work. So we tried resetting it, testing it, resetting it, testing it, and then resetting all the breakers. Nothing. We called the landlord, and they said they'd come check it out.
The next morning, I realized that the bathroom outlet didn't work either. I did my hair in the hall (which was interesting), and hoped they would come take a look soon.
Month after month passed, and nothing happened. I got used to doing my hair in the hall, and I resigned myself to the fact that we'll never be able to have cheery Christmas lighting.
Yesterday evening, I was sitting on the couch, working on photos and watching So You Think You Can Dance. The doorbell rang. Crap, I thought. Our house was a mess. It was the fix-it guy for our apartments, coming to check the furnace filter and smoke alarm. He is one of the nicest guys I've ever met. I let him in, wincing at the mess, and then I remembered: our outlets. I told him the situation, and he opened the breaker box. "Just push the test button, then move the breaker completely one way, then back again."
He told me to test the hairdryer to see if it worked. Part of me didn't think it would, but I plugged my hairdryer in the long-out-of-use outlet, turned it on, and VOILA! It worked. I felt kind of silly. Nearly a year of doing my hair in the hall, and that's all I had to do?
I did my hair in the bathroom this morning. I realized as soon as I turned on my hairdryer that I began to wander into the hall, and, a thought occured to me: I don't have to do that anymore. It's a Halloween miracle! I've forgotten what it's like to be able to fix my hair in my bathroom and not the hall!
Now if only there were an easy fix for all four windows I've broken since we've moved in.... hmmm...
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Also, a
conversation from last night:
"You need more friends."
"But I'm really very happy right now."
"But I want you to be happier."
You can guess who said what.
*On further review, it was funnier during the moment.
"You need more friends."
"But I'm really very happy right now."
"But I want you to be happier."
You can guess who said what.
*On further review, it was funnier during the moment.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
I've noticed a trend
lately, which is whenever my housband (who refuses to let me use his name here, by the way, even though I've probably asked him about 5 times or so) and I run into someone we know, whether it's neighbors or good friends or someone he knows from growing up, my response is almost always the same.
Which is, "I like them--they seem really nice." Or, "They're nice. I like them."
I say this all the time.
Thing is, I like nice people. I like people who are kind because they want to be kind. I like people who are genuine and ask questions to which they really care to know the answer. I like people who are sincere and caring. I like people who are funny, too, but recently, that has taken a back seat for me. Nice trumps all for me. I try to be nice. I'm not always very good at it, but it genuinely helps me feel good to show kindness to people, whether I know them or not. I like talking to people. I often make dumb jokes, but man, I've realized lately that I really like people. I've tried so hard lately to see the goodness in everyone and keep an open mind--why should I judge or belittle someone else when I wouldn't want them to do that to me?
Anywho. That's just something I've thought of lately.
Also: I think I'm going to grow my hair a bit. Not as long as it was, but past my shoulders, at least. Maybe. I could change my mind tomorrow. (It's almost to my shoulders right now, by the way.)
Last thing. My housband falls asleep more quickly than I do every night. He hates when I leave the light on, but I can't read without it, and playing games on my phone with the light off wakes me up so I can't sleep when I'm done. So. Last night, I read for a bit (I love summer and the reading-ness that accompanies it), then I turned out the light. I was lying there, almost asleep, when I rolled from my side to my back. At this point, my housband was dead asleep, snoring, all of that. So I was a little creeped out when I saw his hand in the air, reaching for something... not sure what. He's a weird sleeper. Then, he was "tickling" my face. And by tickling, I mean moving his hands like he's tickling, but harder, and on my cheeks, forehead, nose, which was not only annoying, but creepy. So I yelled at him, as I always do when he's being weird while asleep... "What are you doing?!" He semi-woke up, said sorry, I showed him what he was doing, and then he said I was on his side of the bed. (I wasn't.) So I told him I wasn't, and he began arguing with me. I realized he wasn't fully awake, so I told him goodnight.
When I told him about it in the morning, he didn't remember it at all. This is almost as weird as the time he growled at me, which creeped me out so bad, I screamed at him.
Anyway, I was so creeped out by his sleeping weirdness, it took me a bit to get back to almost-asleep. Such is life with my housband, I guess.
Ok, really, this is the last thing: I talked to my brother on the phone at work today--about work stuff, I work with him--and ending the phone call he said, "I love you." We both giggled, cause we don't say that often. I said that was weird, but you know what? I love you, too, bro. Even though you drive me nuts sometimes. You are the weirdest boss ever.
Photos later, perhaps.
Which is, "I like them--they seem really nice." Or, "They're nice. I like them."
I say this all the time.
Thing is, I like nice people. I like people who are kind because they want to be kind. I like people who are genuine and ask questions to which they really care to know the answer. I like people who are sincere and caring. I like people who are funny, too, but recently, that has taken a back seat for me. Nice trumps all for me. I try to be nice. I'm not always very good at it, but it genuinely helps me feel good to show kindness to people, whether I know them or not. I like talking to people. I often make dumb jokes, but man, I've realized lately that I really like people. I've tried so hard lately to see the goodness in everyone and keep an open mind--why should I judge or belittle someone else when I wouldn't want them to do that to me?
Anywho. That's just something I've thought of lately.
Also: I think I'm going to grow my hair a bit. Not as long as it was, but past my shoulders, at least. Maybe. I could change my mind tomorrow. (It's almost to my shoulders right now, by the way.)
Last thing. My housband falls asleep more quickly than I do every night. He hates when I leave the light on, but I can't read without it, and playing games on my phone with the light off wakes me up so I can't sleep when I'm done. So. Last night, I read for a bit (I love summer and the reading-ness that accompanies it), then I turned out the light. I was lying there, almost asleep, when I rolled from my side to my back. At this point, my housband was dead asleep, snoring, all of that. So I was a little creeped out when I saw his hand in the air, reaching for something... not sure what. He's a weird sleeper. Then, he was "tickling" my face. And by tickling, I mean moving his hands like he's tickling, but harder, and on my cheeks, forehead, nose, which was not only annoying, but creepy. So I yelled at him, as I always do when he's being weird while asleep... "What are you doing?!" He semi-woke up, said sorry, I showed him what he was doing, and then he said I was on his side of the bed. (I wasn't.) So I told him I wasn't, and he began arguing with me. I realized he wasn't fully awake, so I told him goodnight.
When I told him about it in the morning, he didn't remember it at all. This is almost as weird as the time he growled at me, which creeped me out so bad, I screamed at him.
Anyway, I was so creeped out by his sleeping weirdness, it took me a bit to get back to almost-asleep. Such is life with my housband, I guess.
Ok, really, this is the last thing: I talked to my brother on the phone at work today--about work stuff, I work with him--and ending the phone call he said, "I love you." We both giggled, cause we don't say that often. I said that was weird, but you know what? I love you, too, bro. Even though you drive me nuts sometimes. You are the weirdest boss ever.
Photos later, perhaps.
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