Mondays

make me feel bummed.

P.S.  Anyone have any solutions for a headache?  I've had one almost constantly for the last week or so.  Can't decide if it's because of the change of seasons, a not-so-good diet, or something else.  I don't really like to take Advil, etc., for them...

Reasons why today is a good day:

1.  It is March 1st.  Which means winter is essentially over.  Any storms from here on out will no longer get me down.  Winter:  I've had enough.

2.  I have a new outfit to wear today.  Isn't that just the best feeling?

3.  My website is DONE DONE DONE.  SO DONE.  I am ecstatic.  There is sunshine in my soul today.   Visit if you so wish:  http://www.ashleygammillphotography.com.

4.  I'm giving away stuff on my photo blog, because I like people, and because, well, business is good.  Visit and win, perhaps?

5.  There's not only sunshine in my soul, but outside in the world, too.

6.  I made cookies last night.  Not well, but who cares.  They're good.

And that's it for Monday.  What's good about your Monday?  Do tell.

Not long enough.

That's what I think on Mondays... the weekend was NOT long enough. Still, it was nice. I had a lot of time to think, and it was one of those weekends that, though enjoyable, reminds me of what it's like to be human... and that I'm not perfect by any stretch.

I've been writing a lot, and it's helped that I have a reason to write: I'm using Marta's write club prompts and it's been enjoyable. My ink stained fingers are pretty delightful--I've felt a strange sense of accomplishment at writing again. I've really missed it.

A [teeny, tiny] peek into what I've written:

My daily routine:

My obsessions:

What I think about:

I realize how much I need writing as a release after I do it... go figure. This is the notebook I selected to write in for this type of thing:


Also, this is what a word search looks like [for those of you who can't remember...]:

And I know this is old news, but these tulips have lasted a lot longer than I thought, and they're even pretty when they're dying...

I especially like the veins you can see.

Anyway, that was my weekend. I completed probably 40-something word searches. I'm addicted.

This weekend, I:

• met my new niece, Bergen Jo [and she is so darling... photos to come]
• decided it was too cold to ride my bike, and left it in our storage closet
• took several naps
• napped while my housband cleaned out our spare room... oops... and I didn't even ask him to do it...
• saw a woman get arrested across the street from my apartment. She was nuts.
• had a lot of time to think, which I really like
• saw my housband swim, actually swim in a race, for the first time ever, and he was really good
• stayed up late and read several books while eating cereal
• realized I miss staying up late while reading books and eating cereal
• realized I go to bed pretty early every night [which, in effect, makes me a lot less tired the next day]
• saw 15-or-so deer on my photo 3 escapade Friday, but never got closer than 15 feet-or-so
• watched a Meg Ryan movie, and realized that I still love her and her long, curly hair in this movie [and her skirts and wellies, for that matter]

It was a good weekend, eventful because I met a new member of the family [and I really can't say enough about how beautiful & perfect she is], but beyond that, not too eventful... just another weekend.

Today, I:

• went to work
• ate lunch on my bed instead of watching Sabrina, the Teenage Witch downstairs [yes, I actually watch that show]
  
• am leaving work a tiny bit early
• don't know what I'll do with my evening hours
• am really liking the list format
• am going to take more photos

That is all. Thank you for reading.

Weekend! ...Again...

I think Monday is the hardest day of the week. After relaxing, having fun and spending time with family, Monday is so jarring... work, work, work.

That said, I don't have much to say today... though I have something planned for tomorrow, maybe 2 somethings!

Housband has a study thing tonight, so I'll be working on a valentine project and watching some Pushing Daisies, maybe? We shall see how that goes.

Let's hope Tuesday isn't as brutal as Monday.

I don't have much to say

But I had a good Thanksgiving weekend... did you?

It was wonderful. There's nothing like time off to help me feel more like myself.

It's interesting, though, when I think about it--how my perception of myself and what I'm like has changed, even in the last year. I don't think of myself in the same way I did a year ago. Sometimes, I feel like a stranger, even to myself. I don't fully understand how I change so often, or where I go, but I know I've changed a lot.

I was thinking the other day about my dream job. What would that be? I thought of writing and photography, or both, and I decided I don't know. Maybe it's my current state of mind--that I'm not good enough, or that I need a little break. Then I'll make a comeback.

One of my final professors wrote me a long note on the back of an essay I wrote in her class; I asked her to mail it back to me with her comments at the end of the semester. It was a nonfiction piece, something that I wasn't particularly proud of; there was a lot of work left to do on it, and I knew that. I just didn't have it in me to complete it then, and I felt horribly lost about the direction of the whole thing. She told me a lot of wonderful things, things I really needed to hear. She asked me to never stop writing... and honestly, I was really moved by the whole thing, by all the things I needed somebody to tell me; yet nobody did, except for my former professor. I fear that I've failed her in some way. My inspiration has been lacking lately. I feel kind of numb to a lot of things, and I'm not sure if it's the after shock of life changing so completely in just a matter of months. I am no longer a college student. I am an adult. I am married. All of these things, while good, are so startling when wrapped up in one little package. I don't know that I'm good at handling change. In fact, I know I'm pretty terrible at it. I'm doing my best, but sometimes I feel my best is lacking a little. I know I'll get there--I will, but I don't know when. Please be patient with me.

I had a dream I was 18 again the other night. I don't know why, particularly because 18 wasn't my greatest year, but it was so wonderful. It was a dream like a music video: I walked the streets of my neighborhood, I canoed until my canoe sank and my friends pulled me out of the water serenely. I felt so free. I wonder where it came from?

I was 17 when I first fell in love with words. I remember the way I first felt about reading something that really got to me in a way words never had before, like Jack Burden's philosophies from Robert Penn Warren's All the King's Men, and at times it's the way I feel about life: scared in the face of it, thrilled by the possibilities. But more importantly, I feel the way I used to feel when I write. I get nervous about what I'll come up with; I hang on every moment of surprise at what comes from me, unconsciously or not. I love writing.

I think I'll do it more often.

Sorry this is so long. I have more to say, but I am going to keep thinking about it.

Monday, Monday

I don't understand that song: Monday, Monday, so good to me.

WHO in their right mind is productive on a Monday? I guess everyone's different though.

Monday has been okay to me.

My apartment is really messy, and I don't want to clean it.

Winter is coming, I can feel it in my shivering bones. I also saw winter lace on my windows this morning, when I didn't wear a jacket to drive somebody to school.

I watched movies on my couch ALL DAY yesterday. All day.


I felt gross afterward.

I am going to have a good week [hopefully].


Here's to soon winter!
[Benson, Utah]


Also: sorry the photos are so random. I'm going to go shooting this week, and hopefully more often from here on out so I'll have more relevant photos.

Also: sorry for apologizing on my own blog. That's a little weird.